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You have to live with it for the rest of your life.

9/10/2013

2 Comments

 
The shock of any trauma, I think changes your life. It's more acute in the beginning and after a little time you settle back to what you were. However it leaves an indelible mark on your psyche.
Alex Lifeson - Rush
Xena: See how calm the surface of the water is. That was me once. And then....(throwing a  rock in the lake)....the water ripples and churns. That's what I became.
Gabrielle: But if we sit here long enough it will go back to being still again. You'll go back to being calm.
Xena: But the stone's still under there. It's now a part of the lake. It might look as it did before but it's forever changed.
Xena: Warrior Princess, Dreamworker [1.03]
I was talking with a couple of women about working with children in the foster care system.  During the discussion, one of them said the children have been through so much in their life that they will always have to live with.  She looked to me to agree with her.  A wave of sadness swept over me.  Maybe for these kids that's true.   I hope not.  Abuse, neglect and trauma do not have to haunt them (or us) for the rest of our lives.  There is a treatment that can assist these kids in healing from the traumatic things they have lived through, so they can make good choices and have a happier life.  Counseling, these women told me, doesn't help these kids.  They go to the counselor not trusting anyone.  That makes sense.  Why would they trust another adult they associate with "the system?"

I told them about Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and how it can work with kids.  The beauty is the kids do not have to talk about or even know why they are upset.  It starts with whatever feeling the child is having.  The process works without having to articulate anything.  Traditional "talk therapy" does not work for everyone for a variety of reasons. 

One of the things I love about EMDR is you don't have to talk.  It works on a neurobiological level.  It works relatively quickly.  If someone has experienced one traumatic event, like a car accident or witnessed an assault, it can work in 2-5 60 minute sessions.  People feel better when a session is over than they did when they walked in.  Once the traumatic event is processed, the nightmares, anxiety and flashbacks are gone and do not come back.

When people have been exposed to multiple incidents, it becomes more complicated and takes more time.  Although generally speaking, not every incident must be processed in order for a person to heal, the process happens much more quickly than exposure or talk therapy.

To find out more information, go to my page on EMDR, the EMDR web-site, or contact me.
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    Author

    Jeanne L. Meyer, LMHC, LPC, MAC is a private mental health therapist in Vancouver, WA.

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