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You have to live with it for the rest of your life.

9/10/2013

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The shock of any trauma, I think changes your life. It's more acute in the beginning and after a little time you settle back to what you were. However it leaves an indelible mark on your psyche.
Alex Lifeson - Rush
Xena: See how calm the surface of the water is. That was me once. And then....(throwing a  rock in the lake)....the water ripples and churns. That's what I became.
Gabrielle: But if we sit here long enough it will go back to being still again. You'll go back to being calm.
Xena: But the stone's still under there. It's now a part of the lake. It might look as it did before but it's forever changed.
Xena: Warrior Princess, Dreamworker [1.03]
I was talking with a couple of women about working with children in the foster care system.  During the discussion, one of them said the children have been through so much in their life that they will always have to live with.  She looked to me to agree with her.  A wave of sadness swept over me.  Maybe for these kids that's true.   I hope not.  Abuse, neglect and trauma do not have to haunt them (or us) for the rest of our lives.  There is a treatment that can assist these kids in healing from the traumatic things they have lived through, so they can make good choices and have a happier life.  Counseling, these women told me, doesn't help these kids.  They go to the counselor not trusting anyone.  That makes sense.  Why would they trust another adult they associate with "the system?"

I told them about Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and how it can work with kids.  The beauty is the kids do not have to talk about or even know why they are upset.  It starts with whatever feeling the child is having.  The process works without having to articulate anything.  Traditional "talk therapy" does not work for everyone for a variety of reasons. 

One of the things I love about EMDR is you don't have to talk.  It works on a neurobiological level.  It works relatively quickly.  If someone has experienced one traumatic event, like a car accident or witnessed an assault, it can work in 2-5 60 minute sessions.  People feel better when a session is over than they did when they walked in.  Once the traumatic event is processed, the nightmares, anxiety and flashbacks are gone and do not come back.

When people have been exposed to multiple incidents, it becomes more complicated and takes more time.  Although generally speaking, not every incident must be processed in order for a person to heal, the process happens much more quickly than exposure or talk therapy.

To find out more information, go to my page on EMDR, the EMDR web-site, or contact me.
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2 Comments

June 16th, 2013

6/16/2013

0 Comments

 
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Addiction can be to socially acceptable substances like alcohol or prescription medications, illegal substances or to self-destructive behavior like eating, rescuing other people, or exercising.  Addiction does not discriminate.  It affects the smart, the uneducated, presidents, homeless people, rich people, poor people, young, old, middle aged, working class, professors, the quiet, the outgoing, men, women.  Although there are some indications of a hereditary component to addiction, it is not predictable.  People who have addiction are not bad people.  People who have addiction do bad things.  There is a difference.   Addiction is not a choice.  No one wakes up one day and says, “I think I’ll be an addict.”  That is not to say that people with addiction cannot make different choices.  The choice to use or not to use is one that people must make every day. 

Addiction is a chronic illness characterized by a neurological condition that leads to the continued behavior OR use of a mood or mind altering substance despite negative consequences.

According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM),
“Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. This is reflected in an individual pathologically pursuing reward and/or relief by substance use and other behaviors.

Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response. Like other chronic diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission. Without treatment or engagement in recovery activities, addiction is progressive and can result in disability or premature death.”  http://www.asam.org/research-treatment/definition-of-addiction

When people have addiction, they do things to get their “fix” even when it goes against their own values.  Not only are other people bewildered and disgusted by their behavior, the addict is too.  This leads to blame from others and shame for the addict.  No one understands why people do what they do or go to the lengths they go to because it is not rational.  At first it starts out with feeling good, but it doesn’t stay that way.  Soon you can’t rely on your drug or behavior to make you feel good all the time.  Sometimes it does, sometimes not so much.  Eventually you have to continue just so you don’t feel bad all the time. 

Addicts are obsessed.  As Narcotics Anonymous puts it:  Our whole life and thinking was centered in drugs in one form or another—the getting and using and finding ways and means to get more. We lived to use and used to live. Very simply, an addict is a man or woman whose life is controlled by drugs.  (White Booklet, Narcotics Anonymous)

I believe that all addictive behavior is due to chemicals in one way or another.  With substances like alcohol, marijuana, methamphetamine, or heroin the person is putting the mind & mood altering substance into their body so that it alters their brain chemistry.  With behavior like gambling, sex, or shopping, the brain chemistry changes on its own.  The use of substances can create a physiological dependence, where people go through withdrawal if they stop.  With some substances, like alcohol or anti-anxiety medication, the withdrawal can be deadly.  For others it is simply miserable.

There is hope. 
There is recovery.
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    Author

    Jeanne L. Meyer, LMHC, LPC, MAC is a private mental health therapist in Vancouver, WA.

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