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Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

10/28/2013

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Can you benefit from EMDR?

Part I
  1. Have you had an experience that horrified or terrified you? 
  2. Have you had an illness or problem that changed everything?
  3. Do you have disturbing and distressing memories of your experiences?
  4. Do you have nightmares or night terrors?
  5. Do you have trouble sleeping?
  6. Do you have relationship trouble?
  7. Do you have trouble feeling safe in private, in public, in a quiet environment, in a noisy environment?
  8. Do you have difficulty trusting?
  9. Do you lose your temper easily?
  10. Do you have back pain, stomach problems or headaches that started after your experience?
                # yes answers      

Part II
  1. Can you sit for 15-90 minutes at a time?
  2. Can you identify the feelings you are having?
  3. Can you identify your negative beliefs?
  4. Do you know what you want to believe?
  5. Can you trust your own experience?
  6. Can you tolerate intense emotions for a short period of time?
  7. Do you have 1-3 hours after a session to relax?
  8. Can you follow a moving object with your eyes?  OR listen to sounds using headphones or earbuds?  OR allow the back of your hands or knees to be tapped?   
                # yes answers____

If you have answered yes to 5 or more questions in Part I, and 6 in Part II, you are a good candidate for EMDR.
Read an article by Francine Shapiro by clicking here
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You have to live with it for the rest of your life.

9/10/2013

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The shock of any trauma, I think changes your life. It's more acute in the beginning and after a little time you settle back to what you were. However it leaves an indelible mark on your psyche.
Alex Lifeson - Rush
Xena: See how calm the surface of the water is. That was me once. And then....(throwing a  rock in the lake)....the water ripples and churns. That's what I became.
Gabrielle: But if we sit here long enough it will go back to being still again. You'll go back to being calm.
Xena: But the stone's still under there. It's now a part of the lake. It might look as it did before but it's forever changed.
Xena: Warrior Princess, Dreamworker [1.03]
I was talking with a couple of women about working with children in the foster care system.  During the discussion, one of them said the children have been through so much in their life that they will always have to live with.  She looked to me to agree with her.  A wave of sadness swept over me.  Maybe for these kids that's true.   I hope not.  Abuse, neglect and trauma do not have to haunt them (or us) for the rest of our lives.  There is a treatment that can assist these kids in healing from the traumatic things they have lived through, so they can make good choices and have a happier life.  Counseling, these women told me, doesn't help these kids.  They go to the counselor not trusting anyone.  That makes sense.  Why would they trust another adult they associate with "the system?"

I told them about Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and how it can work with kids.  The beauty is the kids do not have to talk about or even know why they are upset.  It starts with whatever feeling the child is having.  The process works without having to articulate anything.  Traditional "talk therapy" does not work for everyone for a variety of reasons. 

One of the things I love about EMDR is you don't have to talk.  It works on a neurobiological level.  It works relatively quickly.  If someone has experienced one traumatic event, like a car accident or witnessed an assault, it can work in 2-5 60 minute sessions.  People feel better when a session is over than they did when they walked in.  Once the traumatic event is processed, the nightmares, anxiety and flashbacks are gone and do not come back.

When people have been exposed to multiple incidents, it becomes more complicated and takes more time.  Although generally speaking, not every incident must be processed in order for a person to heal, the process happens much more quickly than exposure or talk therapy.

To find out more information, go to my page on EMDR, the EMDR web-site, or contact me.
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Relationships:  That's Not What I Said!

7/8/2013

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The most important skill to having great relationships at home, work and play is communication.  The steps to communication can be explained by thinking about how a phone works.   The phone itself
1.  hears the sounds through the microphone,
2.  translates them into an electronic form,
3.  sends the message to the receiving phone, which then
4.  receives incoming sounds in an electronic form,
5.  translates it and
6.  projects it from the speaker.  

Learning from that experience we can see that if there is a problem with knowing what we want to say, and how we say it, the other person cannot hear our intended message.  The time and place we deliver the message affects the way it is received.  In order for us to hear someone else's message, we must pay attention to what they say and how they say it.  Then we need to make sure that what we heard is what they were trying to say.  Got it?


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There are many things that can go wrong when you talk with someone.  You could say something other than what you mean, or say it in a way you don’t mean.  The other person could misunderstand you.  You may react to your past experience with them or other people, rather than to what is happening now. 

Good communication takes practice.  It changes relationships for the better, guaranteed!

Find out more at our Relationship Mastery Level I Workshop
July 27, 2013 1-5 pm

Register (opens in new web-site)
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June 16th, 2013

6/16/2013

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Addiction can be to socially acceptable substances like alcohol or prescription medications, illegal substances or to self-destructive behavior like eating, rescuing other people, or exercising.  Addiction does not discriminate.  It affects the smart, the uneducated, presidents, homeless people, rich people, poor people, young, old, middle aged, working class, professors, the quiet, the outgoing, men, women.  Although there are some indications of a hereditary component to addiction, it is not predictable.  People who have addiction are not bad people.  People who have addiction do bad things.  There is a difference.   Addiction is not a choice.  No one wakes up one day and says, “I think I’ll be an addict.”  That is not to say that people with addiction cannot make different choices.  The choice to use or not to use is one that people must make every day. 

Addiction is a chronic illness characterized by a neurological condition that leads to the continued behavior OR use of a mood or mind altering substance despite negative consequences.

According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM),
“Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. This is reflected in an individual pathologically pursuing reward and/or relief by substance use and other behaviors.

Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response. Like other chronic diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission. Without treatment or engagement in recovery activities, addiction is progressive and can result in disability or premature death.”  http://www.asam.org/research-treatment/definition-of-addiction

When people have addiction, they do things to get their “fix” even when it goes against their own values.  Not only are other people bewildered and disgusted by their behavior, the addict is too.  This leads to blame from others and shame for the addict.  No one understands why people do what they do or go to the lengths they go to because it is not rational.  At first it starts out with feeling good, but it doesn’t stay that way.  Soon you can’t rely on your drug or behavior to make you feel good all the time.  Sometimes it does, sometimes not so much.  Eventually you have to continue just so you don’t feel bad all the time. 

Addicts are obsessed.  As Narcotics Anonymous puts it:  Our whole life and thinking was centered in drugs in one form or another—the getting and using and finding ways and means to get more. We lived to use and used to live. Very simply, an addict is a man or woman whose life is controlled by drugs.  (White Booklet, Narcotics Anonymous)

I believe that all addictive behavior is due to chemicals in one way or another.  With substances like alcohol, marijuana, methamphetamine, or heroin the person is putting the mind & mood altering substance into their body so that it alters their brain chemistry.  With behavior like gambling, sex, or shopping, the brain chemistry changes on its own.  The use of substances can create a physiological dependence, where people go through withdrawal if they stop.  With some substances, like alcohol or anti-anxiety medication, the withdrawal can be deadly.  For others it is simply miserable.

There is hope. 
There is recovery.
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How Well Do You Maintain Balance?  -- A Quiz

5/29/2013

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If trying to maintain balance in your life makes you feel like a tightrope walker, you’re not alone. Most of us have so many demands on our time and energy, life can feel like a three-ring circus. Take this quiz to see how well you are meeting responsibilities, while also recognizing and fulfilling personal needs and wants.

True  False

  ___   ___   1. The only way I can successfully manage my life is to take care of myself physically and
                      emotionally.

  ___   ___    2. Nurturing myself enlarges my capacity to help others.

  ___   ___    3. I eat healthfully and exercise regularly.

  ___   ___    4. I get check-ups, go to the dentist, and take preventative precautions.

  ___   ___    5. I set aside personal, quiet time for myself, whether I’m meditating or simply letting my thoughts                       drift. 

  ___   ___    6. I experience the gifts of each season: ice skating, sledding, bundled-up beach walks;
                       gardening, hiking, more time outside; camping, swimming, barbeques; harvesting the bounty,
                       gathering wood, spending more time inside.

  ___   ___     7. Creativity nurtures me, too. I do what I love, whether that’s cooking, drawing, painting, writing,
                         dancing, singing or another creative pursuit. 

  ___   ___     8. Reaching out to others enriches my life. I spend quality time with family and friends.

  ___   ___     9. Contributing to the world provides connection and purpose, so I give my time, energy and
                        experience where it is most useful. 

  ___   ___     10. I notice and heed the emotional signals that tell me I’m out of balance: irritability, overwhelm,
                          resentment.

  ___   ___     11. If I feel that I’m catching a cold, I realize I may have stressed my immune system with
                          over-activity, so I stop and take care of myself.

  ___   ___     12. When I need or want to, I say no to requests for my time.

  ___   ___     13. I listen to and honor the requests my body makes for such things as a nap, a walk, green
                          vegetables, hot soup.

  ___   ___     14. If I have something planned for myself, I don’t just toss that aside when someone makes a
                          request of me.

  ___   ___     15. I’m busy, but I find time to do the things I want to do.

  ___   ___     16. I’m happy. I regularly experience well-being, contentment, even joy.

If you answered false more often than true, you are robbing yourself and those you love. Please don’t hesitate to call (360) 949-2524, if you’d like to explore this issue further.

Jeanne L. Meyer, MS, LMHC, LPC
Choices Counseling

8100 NE Parkway Dr., Suite 25
Vancouver, WA  98662
(360) 949-2524


Author’s content used with permission, © Claire Communications

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Depression.  More than feeling depressed.

5/14/2013

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It feels like being in a Black Hole.  There is no light and you just keep getting sucked in further and further  There is no way out.
Black HoleLet me out!!


Snap out of it! 
Things are not that bad!


How many times has someone been impatient with you feeling negative and gloomy?  How many times have you given up trying to explain, because it doesn't make any sense?  There's no particular reason you feel so bad, you just do.  Then you don't want to be around your friends and family because you can't explain why you're not happy AND being around happy people just makes it worse.  You feel more and more alone.  You start feeling like everyone would be better off if you just weren't around.  So you stay away.  Eventually people stop trying to pull you out of your isolation and depression.  Being around you is a bummer.  "You see the dark cloud in every silver lining."   

You feel better when you're sleeping, so you sleep as much as you can.  Or the opposite happens, when you can't sleep.  You either can't get to sleep, can't stay asleep or wake up way too soon.  Then you're tired all the time.  You have no energy.  Nothing is fun.  Nothing is funny.  You can't concentrate.  Things seem harder and harder.  Food tastes bland.  Sometimes you eat anyway.  Sometimes you have no appetite.  Sometimes you snap at people and hate the world.  Sometimes you cry when you "should" be happy.  You know there's something wrong, so does everyone else.  Everyone's attempt at trying to help pisses you off.  Even your dog looks at you with pity.  You just want to be left alone......but not really.


Depression is like walking around with no skin. 
Everything hurts.  Anything that brushes up against you causes pain.  A hug feels bad.  Regular, normal things that happen to everyone throughout the day are at the least irritating, at most painful.  You spend your time avoiding anything that could hurt.  People say things that you take personally.  You get your feelings hurt easily.  Everything seems huge.  It requires so much effort, it often doesn't seem worth it.  You feel like Eeyore all the time.  You hate it, but nothing helps.  You lose hope that it will ever get better. 

Does anything help?
The short answer is yes.  We know some things that can help someone with depression feel better.

When I drink or get loaded, or have sex I feel normal.
What that tells us is that when your brain chemistry changes the symptoms get better.  That is a very important clue!  It is definitely the right idea, just not the right chemicals.  Addiction has a way of biting us in the rear and causing our lives to be miserable....not to mention hurting the people we care about most.

I'm not taking those pills!  I don't want to be a guinea pig.
Medicine is not right for everyone.  If medicine is necessary, there is no blood test to determine which one will help the most.  Prescribers discuss the symptoms you are having and match you with the medicine that will alleviate the most of them.  Mental health treatment is not an exact science.  Sometimes if one medicine doesn't work, another one will.

This is what we know.  There is a difference between feeling depressed and having a clinical depression.  Feeling depressed is only one symptom of clinical depression.  There are several forms of depression.  Some depression is fatal, resulting in suicide or death from risky behavior.  Treatment for depression must take into consideration which type of depression you have. 

Sadness is not depression.  Grief is not depression.  If you have lost something or someone important to you, you will feel sad.  This is normal and healthy.  There is not a set period of time for people to grieve.  Grieving comes in waves.  Sometimes you feel better, then it hits you again.  It does get better over time. 

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, symptoms of depression may include the following:

  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
  • Fatigue and decreased energy
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
  • Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
  • Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
  • Irritability, restlessness
  • Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
  • Overeating or appetite loss
  • Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
  • Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
  • Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

Types of depression:

1.  Major depression:  When the bottom drops out, sometimes people are unable to work or parent.
2.  Dysthymia:  Just generally feeling blah, washed out all the time for no particular reason
3.  Bipolar I:  A cycle, extreme mood swings, sometimes the depression takes over followed by times of feeling great, almost too great,
4.  Bipolar II:  Times when the bottom drops out, followed by a time when things feel a little better, but still not good. Sometimes for a while there is a lot of energy, people can't sleep, are very distracted, talk fast and then for a while everything slows down.
5.  Postpartem:  A major depressive episode after having a baby.
6.  Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)  Feeling more depressed in the winter or when the weather is gloomy.

It is extremely important to have a professional determine which type of depression you are experiencing especially if you are considering taking psychiatric medication.  Medication meant for a unipolar depression, major depressive disorder, dysthymia or post-partem depression will probably make Bipolar I & II much worse.  It easy for someone to get a wrong diagnosis with Bipolar because they usually ask for help when they are experiencing the depression symptoms, not the manic or hypomanic symptoms.

Types of treatment:
Nonmedical
    Exercise
    Distraction
    Spending time with people you love
    Getting involved in something important to you
    Vitamins
    Healthy nutrition
    Good sleep
    Being outside
    Working with animals

Clinical
    Talk therapy
    Cognitive/Behavioral Therapy (changing the way we think and behave)
    Skills training (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, stress management, etc)
    Hypnosis
   
Medical
    Various types of medicines, from SSRI's, SSNRI's, mood stabilizers to tricyclics and MAOI's
    Biofeedback
    ECT
    Sleep disorder treatment with medication or CPAP
    Pain management
    Hospitalization either for crisis stabilization, or longer term if symptoms do not respond to treatment

  The most important thing to know is that depression is treatable.  You are not the only one who has experienced it.  You do not have to be alone.





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Jeanne L. Meyer, LMHC, LPC, MAC
Choices Counseling
(360) 949-2524

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    Jeanne L. Meyer, LMHC, LPC, MAC is a private mental health therapist in Vancouver, WA.

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